


Dying Ain't So Bad ( Not If We Both Go Together )

by xLoveMx



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:41:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23314072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLoveMx/pseuds/xLoveMx
Summary: “I love you,” he muttered, and strangely enough Caleb had never felt as free as he did right there, trapped in an underground lair, just moments away from death.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 20
Kudos: 107





	Dying Ain't So Bad ( Not If We Both Go Together )

**Author's Note:**

> Please direct your complaints about the angst directly to Liam, who ripped my heart out last night when I was watching episode 18 and learned Caleb's backstory.

The underground lair they had been in was going down.

The walls were shaking, and rocks were tumbling from the ceiling as Beau was yelling for all of them to get out.

This was supposed to be a quick job, in and out, and then collect the money. They had experience with this sort of thing, all sorts of things really, but the fact that the death of that monster was connected to the whole thing coming down? No one had expected that.

Maybe there had been clues, but nobody had paid too much attention. _They had become careless,_ Yasha would later think. _Too sure of themselves._

Jester was already halfway to the small entrance on the side, which Fjord was trying to stabilize until they were all through, when she noticed that Caleb wasn’t moving. A huge blast of fire, which had only been able to come from his direction, had been what had done the monster in, but now he was propped up against a wall, his eyes closed.

Whatever he had done, it had knocked him out cold.

Without a second thought, Jester made a sharp turn and headed towards him, sinking down onto her knees.

“Caleb, Caleb! You need to wake up!” She shook him, maybe not as carefully as she would have usually done. “We need to get out of here!”

She could have carried him, but the ceiling was still coming down and there was no way to know where the next stone would potentially hit and knock her unconscious as well. She was out of spells, too. She had used them all to fight the monster, or to heal her friends when it had been needed.

Beside her, Caleb stirred ever so slightly, the collective shaking of the earth, and her voice, having pulled him from the shadows. His eyes fluttered open ever just so slightly, and Jester could see a hint of panic there, which only seemed to increase once he noticed her by his side.

“Y-You need to…get out…” He muttered, his head hurting from where he assumed he had hit it against the wall. He’d been out for a good minute or so, and usually he’d wake up, and they’d all be somewhere safe, Beau would roll her eyes and make a comment about how he had gotten knocked out again, Fjord would be in the corner, watching him intently, and Jester would be smiling and telling him that she was glad that he was alive.

_Oh, his Jester._

No, she wasn’t _his_ , he had to remind himself, even in the wake of immediate danger. Sometimes, in the dead of night, Caleb let his thoughts wander to when they had danced. For a long time, it had been nothing but a foggy memory, clouded by the alcohol which had been consumed that night, but it had become clearer and clearer over the past few months.

Whenever she smiled at him, or when he could hear music play in a tavern they were stopping at. Whenever Jester’s hand brushed against his, either by accident or maybe because she wanted him to know that she was there.

There was so much she didn’t know about him. So much Caleb had kept hidden, because he’d been terrified of seeing that look in her eyes, the look of disgust and fear, because he had done something so unforgivable.

Not just because she was his friend, but because he had fallen in love with her. It had been slow, like a feather being picked up by the wind and swirled around, until it finally hit the ground.

It had come unexpected, and yet Caleb hadn’t been surprised at all. He had been in love once before, but it had been different. So entirely different, that he hadn’t noticed it until he had already been in too deep.

Jester had come in, and with her openness and never-ending love for people she had torn right through Caleb’s walls before he even had a chance to know that she was coming.

“Caleb,” her voice was soft as she pulled him from his thoughts, just in time for a rock to land right next to them.

He jerked away, his arm coming to protectively wrap around her. He was well aware that she was stronger than him, but that didn’t mean that there was no desire to protect her.

Jester had been trying to find ways to get them out, the wheels in her head turning over and over again. There was no way she was just going to leave him.

They were all a family, and in a family, no one got left behind.

Molly’s death had hit them all hard, especially Beau, and Jester hadn’t been used to losing people. Not like that anyways, but this…it was something different.

The simple thought of losing Caleb, not being able to sneak into his room and sit on his bed to watch him read, occasionally stealing his books to draw in them, to not be able to pull him along from window to window when he agreed to go shopping with her, to not be able to give him _that_ smile because it would make him blush, shattered Jester’s heart into a thousand pieces.

She’s had her heart broken before, but somehow it had made her a better person. This, she was sure, would utterly destroy her. Even if she lived, there was something telling her that she’d spend the rest of her life trying to pick up pieces of her heart, and she’d still never be able to find them all.

“Caleb,” her voice was soft, and it stirred something inside of him, something he’d kept hidden for so long, because there was nowhere to go with it. No need to trouble her with his feelings. He almost laughed, despite the pain, because he knew that she would have scolded him for a such a thought had he said it out loud.

_I’m a very good healer, Caleb. Mentally. I’m good at listening._

The next rock came falling, and though smaller in size, it hit Caleb directly below the knee, and he could feel something shattering.

Jester knew she should have been panicking in some sort of way, but strangely enough she wasn’t. Caleb had always made her feel safe, and the simple presence of him beside her made her heartbeat slow down to an almost comfortable pace.

She felt a calm wash over her, and when she turned her head to look at Fjord, their eyes met for a moment. He was still trying to keep the entrance to the lair from crashing down, his muscles straining and sweat pooling on his forehead.

Her lips curved into a soft smile, and it only took him a moment until a look of understanding crossed his face. _It’s okay,_ her eyes seemed to say, and even though Jester could see him fighting with himself, she knew he’d come to the right conclusion anyway. There was no need for all of them lose their lives.

Beau and Yasha were just figuring out what they were, Jester knew from when she watched them look at each other when they were sure the other wasn’t looking, oh and Nott. Someone needed to take care of her. Fjord and she might have had a rocky start back then, but Jester knew they trusted each other.

_Thank you_. She formed with her mouth, and then she watched as he stepped back, his face disappearing behind the falling rocks that had soon blocked the entrance, and also the screams that emanated from the rest of their friends.

“Jester,” Pain was audible in Caleb’s voice as he tried to push himself into a more upright position. Jester noticed a faint glow from his free hand, and a moment later a shield appeared over them.

With her lips curved into a smile, Jester watched the world fall apart around them. Or no, maybe that wasn’t it. It didn’t feel like it, because her world, she realized, was right here, beneath the shield Caleb was holding up.

“How long do we have?” She asked, voice as quiet as it could be, but still loud enough to be heard about the rumbling and tumbling of rocks.

“A minute, maybe.” Caleb managed, his heart missing a beat when he felt Jester settling in beside me. Her breath was warm against his cheek, and Caleb felt the same calm wash over him that Jester had just moments before.

“You know what?” She muttered then.

“What?”

“We should have danced again.”

A small chuckle fell from Caleb’s lips at that, and he tried to ignore the pain that came with it. “I’m not a good dancer,” he then replied, shaking his head ever so slowly before leaning into her.

“I will teach you.” Jester responded, and for a moment it felt like things were going to be okay. Wherever they were going, they were going together.

There was a small poof and then Jester could feel something soft pressing against her. When she glanced down, Frumpkin was snuggled against them and Jester could feel tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. Still, there was a smile tugging on her lips as she leaned in closer, lips brushing against Caleb’s cheek.

“I love you,” he muttered, and strangely enough Caleb had never felt as free as he did right there, trapped in an underground lair, just moments away from death.

“I love you too,” She murmured, her lips brushing against his ever so softly then, while her hand carefully ran over Frumpkin’s fur.

_A short and loving life,_ Jester then thought, _That ain’t so bad._


End file.
